THE PERVERSE BEHAVIOUR KENYANS ARE FOND OF

God save his nose and eyes if he is to take a stroll in the Kenyan urban centers. He will see it all, men and women, young and old axiomatically irrigating walls and bushes. Never mind what position some will have to take to execute the act.

I feel like strangling people with my shoelaces each time I see them going for the shake well or wipe from front to back after use affair.

Men are notorious for this. They have formed an alliance with the devil in crucifying self discipline. I don’t know whether it is because of their ability to aim with their tail or their prowess in hiding it with their palms, that makes them the number one irrigating machines they are. Don’t forget it is with the same hands that they will vigorously shake yours if you happen to meet on the street.

 Anytime they feel their bowl is full, looking for a public toilet doesn’t cross their brains, all they do is unzip and just do the unthinkable to a wall or bush. The end result is a pungent smell hitting their noses when they pass by the same spot. Unashamed they will spit, put their legs apart and do it again. Hallo! Are you a dog marking your territory?

There is no justification to what humans do to walls and trees in the name of freeing themselves. Why should anyone in their sound mind release ammonia to a healthy tree growing on the road side or try to drown a wall in their God knows from where liquid?  It may be the beer they borrowed last night or the mnazi from mama pima. Who knows? Perhaps it is your nose to tell what it was they took.

It is common knowledge that too much of anything is poisonous. So is ammonia, too much of it is harmful to trees. With the increased carbon (IV) oxide in the atmosphere, I don’t know why a full grown man or lady is determined to kill trees-our only way out of global warming.

If you have fallen into this trap I am not sorry to say you are an idiot masquerading in the face of the educated modern man. You are nothing like a modern man. You are a 4B- big baby in a big body for it is only babies who don’t know where to go when the call of nature summons. How else can I call you if not a 4B? If you can take the risk of revealing something that you covered with more than two clothes when you left your house. Then you deserve a far worse name than that.

Bury me alive if you can but your “unavoidable circumstance” excuse sounds avoidable to me. Why should you leave your house without empting the liquid you took? Why should you take excess liquids when you know you won’t be able to access a toilet any time soon? If this is not an indication of lack of discipline and the rottenness of your moral fiber, then I don’t know what is.

However one thing that I am sure of is that I am sick and tired of smelling urine each time I take the shortcut to work. I am tired of your intolerable behavior. It wastes my time when I have to wait for a lady to finish her irrigation session for me to pass.

So keep private what is to be private. Men don’t go showing how your long or fat tails can sprinkle. Ladies undressing is a private matter, do it in your bedrooms or in the toilet if you have to. But for heaven sake tooching and squatting to urinate somewhere else, is one thing you shouldn’t do. Just stop!